Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
