the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
