So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
