it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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