my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize