I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
