i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
