I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
