i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
