He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
