You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
