he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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