It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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