I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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