he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
