I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
