Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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