Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
