okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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