On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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