I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
