bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
