How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize