On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
