connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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