he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
they need to just BURY HIM!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
