she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
