Rock
Scissors
Fuck
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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