My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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