So drunk its hurt
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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