cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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