And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Enjoy the penises
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
