Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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