I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
