I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
