I don't think brook has ever known best
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sext me about skeletons
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
