Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
