I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
