dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
