Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
