2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
