I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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