So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
