sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He kissed a someone with a penis
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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