on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
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I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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