HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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