Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
