You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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