Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
