Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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