I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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