I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
