dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
