Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
