Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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