we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize