dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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