i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
