so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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