butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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