Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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