With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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