Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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