like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Your cock deserves a montage
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
