If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
