There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just had sex on a roof
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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