You can't motorboat a personality
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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