you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
